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If you’re into Walt Disney Endings where everyone lives happily ever after, then the new Kiefer Sutherland “Touch” Fox TV Series about an autistic child’s gift, is for you. Unfortunately I’m not and like to keep things somewhat real. Imagine if you were watching “24″ and no one ever fired back at Jack Bauer. That’s kind of like what you are getting based on the pilot episode of Touch. It’s like a bad “Fantasy Island” meets “The Event” in that everything seems contrived, not natural and total nonsense.

Here are some examples of what totally turned me off “Touch”. Warning this contains spoilers:

1. A Kid apparently agrees or is pressured to become a Human Bomb. Somehow a phone operator talks the kid into disarming himself with the promise of a free $10,000 oven for his family’s bakery. The kid disarms himself and that’s it with all his scenes. The reality is the kid will wind up being killed by the people who wired him up for betraying them and his mission. Of course that is not brought up or even implied.

2. A total stranger who sells restaurant equipment is told by a telephone operator he has just called that a kid will blow himself up and kill others unless he gives him a free $10,000 oven. The salesman says yes of course, no problem. Do you want to buy the Brooklyn Bridge from me.

3. A guy just videos on a phone a female Office Worker performing Karaoke and promises to make her a star. He does this by putting the phone with the video into a total strangers brief case. He never thought of just putting it on You Tube himself? Of course a prostitute in Japan sees the video, steals the phone, sets up a fan club for the singer and she becomes a star.

Like I said, if this is your cup of tea, go for it and enjoy “Touch”. Me I think I’ll pass. Please check out our large Online Discount Gift Store click here and our other Online Discount Stores below which helps support this politically incorrect blog. Thank you.

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Its Lost Smoke Monster Man in Black Titus Welliver TV World and we’re just living in it. Titus Welliver is obvious a Character Actor God as it seems like he’s over every TV series at once. Doesn’t Titus Welliver sleep? Probably not apparently but Gods don’t need sleep. Somehow Titus Welliver manages to play a slightly different variant of the same character on every TV series but makes it different enough so they’re all separately distinguished.

I just some him on the new Keifer Sutherland Series “Touch” and I’m not sure if he’s going to be a regular or recurring character on it but even though he acted like he was “the bad guy” may in fact be a “good guy” for once.

Since Lost in 2009, here is a list of all the TV Series and Movies he’s been in:

Touch (TV series)
Randy

2011 Powers (TV movie & Pilot Upcominh)
Triphammer

2012 Man on a Ledge (Movie)
Dante Marcus

2011-2012 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (TV series)
Mark Gabriel / Matt Gabriel

2011 Good Morning, Killer (TV movie)
Mike Donato

2009-2011 The Good Wife (TV series)
Glenn Childs

2011 Suits (TV series)
Dominic Barone

2011 Law & Order: LA (TV series)
Attorney Kennedy

2011 Awakening (TV movie)
The Hunter

2009-2010 Sons of Anarchy (TV series)
Jimmy O’Phelan

2010 The Town
Dino Ciampa

2010 The Closer (TV series)
Gregory Disken

2009-2010 Lost (TV series)
Man in Black

2010 True Blue (TV movie)
John Leeson

2009 Supernatural (TV series)
Roger / War

2009 Kings (TV series)
Bartender

2009 Raising the Bar (TV series)
Nate Chrisman

2009 Handsome Harry (Movie)
Gebhardt

2009 Monk (TV series)
Daniel Reese

2009 Other People’s Parties (Movie)
Pat ‘The Patriot’ Prescott

The Gifts and Free Advice Blog Salutes you, Titus Welliver. You are the God of TV! Please check out our large Online Discount Gift Store click here and our other Online Discount Stores below which helps support this politically incorrect blog. Thank you.

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“Killing Bono” is the funniest rock movie I’ve seen since Spinal Tap and its like a talent rock version of Abbot and Costello making colossal screw-ups like you can’t believe but keep on carrying on. Surprisingly the rock music by our Abbot and Costello played by their band Shook Up is very, very good and gives this great movie about Irish cohorts of U2 authenticity which is more than I can say for other movies of this type. The Acting and Directing as well as the music is excellent and the 2 leads, Ben Barnes as Neil McCormick, Robert Sheehan as his brother Ivan McCormick and main supporting actor Martin McCann as Bono are terrific and quite believable.

I wasn’t even in a U2 fan but will be re-listening to their music again and being more open to it as a result of this movie. The main gist of the movie is that Neil McCormick screws his brother of the chance to join U2 when they were just forming and no famous unknown to his brother so that they can form their own rock band and make it big in the 1970′s themselves. Neil McCormick then proceeds to screw up every chance they have by making terrible decisions. The brother isn’t aware that he could have been in U2 and when he finds out a decade later, well……

I don’t want to give away any of this great entertaining movie but its so good it will be one of the rare movies I’ll rewatch which I think I’ve only done for “Animal House” and “Angel Heart”. I’m surprised “Killing Bono” didn’t get greater acclaim. It’s based on a true story adopted from the book “Killing Bono: I Was Bono’s Doppelganger” by Neil McCormick which I can’t wait to read. Great DVD to rent or buy. Please check out our large Online Discount Gift Store click here and our other Online Discount Stores below which helps support this politically incorrect blog. Thank you.

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I just read online about 10 NBC TV 2012 (Fall TV) Pilots which with the exception of one by Rosanne Barr, sound like the same recycled, generic, unoriginal, failed TV series which got NBC their lousy ratings in the first place. NBC TV is like an NFL Coach (Hi Denver Broncos John Fox) who plays not to lose and as a result doesn’t win. You’d think NBC would take some chances as they have nowhere to go but up. But Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! No wonder more and more people are watching Cable TV Series instead of Network TV. The Rosanne TV Pilot is called Downwardly Mobile a comedy starring Rosanne Barr as the owner of a mobile home park and its inhabitants. Sounds like a great, funny and original idea with plenty of potential.

Here are the Other 9 NBC 2012 Pilots (My personal comments are next to a brief summary of what it appears the TV pilot is about).

County- A drama about a group of doctors, nurses and managers in a struggling Los Angeles hospital. Wow how exciting, can’t wait. Yeah, right.

Chicago Fire- Firefighters from Law & Order honcho Dick Wolf. Well rescue me!

Go On- comedy about a sportscaster trying to move on with his life from a loss. How sad. Or should I say “so funny I forgot to laugh”.

Animal Kingdom- “House” as a veterinarian comedy. Can’t wait. Nah.

Friday Night Dinner- comedy about a quirky family that eats dinner together every Friday developed from an English TV Comedy. “Coupling” anyone?

Jimmy Fallon Produced Untitled Comedy- Not starring Jimmg Fallon about three guys in their 30′s who haven’t grown up who are parents. Wow sounds hilarious, not.

Next Caller Please- Comedy about a brash male Satellite Radio DJ and his new feminist Radio co-host. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

Hilary Winston Untitled Comedy- Community writer Winston, we all know what a hit that show is, comedy about a shy woman who grows out of her shell and gets revenge on a fiance who dumped her. Wow, exciting, Yawn.

Daddy’s Girl- Comedy about a young woman living overseas who comes back home to discover her father is getting it on with the “Mean Girl From High School”. Wow, who cares?

If this is the best NBC can come up with its pretty pathetic. NBC ought to sponsor a contest where viewers can submit their own ideas for a TV Series and if NBC is interested gives the best ones a percent of the action if any ideas go to Pilot and Series. My personal idea would be “I Fought the Law” a “China Beach” type drama about the life and times of tragic Rock Star “Bobby Fuller” of “I Fought the Law Fame”, that would be part JFK Conspiracy Murder Mystery, part Hollywood 60s Sex, drugs and rock and roll and part Friday Night Lights/The Last Picture Show growing up in Texas. Ah the dreams.

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I just watched the premiere of the new Fox TV Series Alcatraz, really liked it and can’t wait till the next episode and finding out more and getting answers to the time travel mystery. What I like really scares me though because I felt the same way about Lost and watched all six years of Lost Episodes that’s time I’ll never get back. Unlike the creators of Lost BS, Lost to me was not about the journey but the answers for which Lost was a colossal Shaggy Dog Story and a total scam and failure. The Creator’s essentially did not know the answers and basically wrote Lost on the Fly.

I hope in the case of Alcatraz the Creators do know the basic answers like how the people on Alcatraz from 1963 disappeared and arrived in 2012 un-aged, why they are committing their crimes, what their purpose is and who is behind everything. What scares me because of Lost for which TV Executives permanently lost credibility to me is that Alcatraz is being written on the Fly just like Lost. To those who haven’t seen the 2 hour Alcatraz pilot episode I recommend you do- it features a great didn’t see it coming twist at the end and hopefully Alcatraz won’t pull a Lost on us. Please check out our large Online Discount Gift Store click here and our other Online Discount Stores below which helps support this politically incorrect blog. Thank you.

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April 1, 2012 is the premiere date of AMC The Killing Season 2 which seems appropriate as AMC and its arrogant egotistical Killing showrunner Veena Sud treated its Killing Season 1 viewers like a bunch of fools as many of us were bored by the slow moving contrived show but stuck with it because we expected a definitive ending with the answer to who killed Rosie Larsen. Basically AMC promoted the Killing to lead viewers to believe we would find out at the end who killed Rosie Larsen without any amds ifs or buts. But Noooooo! Even worse to this insult of AMC playing its viewers like fools, Veena Sud basically said if not implied to the media that she was proud of the Killing Season One finale and who said we owed viewers a definitive answer, yada yada yada.

I personally hope and expect the Killing Season 2 to tank because it will lose many of its Season 1 viewers because of how the Killing Finale ended and that the Veena Sud never gets another job in the entertainment industry. The bottom line is if you as a TV Viewer are tired of how TV Shows, TV Networks and TV executives treat you as a viewer the solution is The Killing Season 2 Audience Payback: Don’t Watch. Please check out our large Online Discount Gift Store click here and our other Online Discount Stores below which helps support this politically incorrect blog. Thank you.

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I’ve recently received unwanted phone calls on my phone from 805-995-4454 which called me even though I was on the Do Not Call Register and just chose to ignore the Do Not Call List Law. They are telemarketers trying to sell auto insurance from it appears Cayucos, California in San Luis Obispo. The only way to stop them from disobeying the Do Not Call List Rules is to report them to the National Do Not Call Registry is by clicking this link and filing a complaint. Do not answer or return their phone calls.

If I had my way, unwanted phone callers (spammers) would get the Death Penalty! I hope these creeps don’t bother you again. As a general piece of advice get caller ID and do not answer the phone unless you know who it is. If you miss an important call the caller will obviously leave you a phone message if it is important enough.

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The New England Patriots Denver Broncos Playoff Game I predict will set an NFL Football TV Ratings Record for all football games broadcast excluding the Super Bowl. Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos versus Tom Brady and the New England Patriots. Rock Star against Rock Star it doesn’t come any better. If somehow the Denver Broncos manage to make it to the Super Bowl I expect that will be the Highest Rated TV Broadcast in the History of TV. Imagine when everyone saw the Beatles first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show if you’re old enough and multiply that tenfold!

Chances are the Denver Broncos won’t beat the New England Patriots but I’ll be rooting for them just the same. Denver might have beaten the Patriots the first time they played this season if they hadn’t fumbled the ball that much and if Head Coach John Fox finally plays to win instead of playing not to lose. Playing to win means that you know you’re going to have to score a bunch of points to beat the Patriots which means when its 4th and 1 you go for the first down with Tim Tebow running instead of going for a field goal. It means you go for a long field goal instead of a punt and you throw play action passes and let Tim Tebow play the game his way not the way a traditional NFL Quarterback would.

What I’m amazed at is, has any second year NFL quarterback like Tim Tebow who hardly played their first year ever been subjected to such criticism and second guessing for turning a 1-4 last place team into an 8-8 Division Champion who has beaten the mighty Pittsburgh Steelers in the playoffs? Go Denver Broncos! Please check out our large Online Discount Gift Store click here and our other Online Discount Stores below which helps support this politically incorrect blog. Thank you.

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Maya Rudolph, one of the funniest female actresses ever was born to play the role of Dalia Dippolito, wannabe husband killer, if a movie is ever made on the Attempted Murder for Hire Case of her husband Michael Dippolito. I just watched an NBC Dateline episode titled “The Ballad of Mike and Dalia” based on the Dalia Dippolito Case and Maya Rudolph immediately came to mind because of her attractive looks and the whole sick ridiculousness of the events that transpired. I realize that hiring a hitman to kill your husband is not supposed to be funny but the way it was presented on Dateline was outrageously hilarious like a real life “Roadrunner Cartoon” meeting “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”. This was without doubt the unintentionally funniest episode ever of Dateline.

Basically the Dalia Dippolito Case involved a woman with 2 supposed lovers on the side who tries to hire a Hitman to kill her husband of 6 Months only to have the “Hitman” turn out to be an undercover policeman whose police department films and stages everything. We see the bad acting response to the police when she is informed her husband has been “murdered”, the lying police interview for which she doesn’t give it up even after she is confronted with the film in front of her, the “it was only an attempt to be on Reality TV” defense and much more. Here is the entire Dateline episode posted on You Tube:

The husband from what I can tell is a paroled felon with a past criminal history involving fraud and grand theft who originally met his wife when he hired her services as an escort. One of the lovers who was the one who got the police involved in the first place barely knew anything about the woman he was involved with based on what was shown on Dateline. Dalia Dippolito was found guilty and sentenced to 20 years but is currently out on bail appealing the conviction. She may actually have a good appeal case as the “lover who testified on videotape and could not be cross examined” was actually in the country but had gotten out of testifying in Court because was supposed to be out of the country.

If this movie gets made and it should, I hope Maya Rudolph is cast as Dalia Dippolito. Yay Maya! Please check out our large Online Discount Gift Store click here and our other Online Discount Stores below which helps support this politically incorrect blog. Thank you.

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If you like the movie “No Country for Old Men” then you will will love reading Max Allan Collins “No One Will Hear You”. I unfortunately hated “No Country for Old Men” because of the film’s lousy last 20 minutes and I hate “No One Will Hear You” because of the similar lousy last 37 pages which sucked and rendered my non-stop reading experience a total waste of time. The last 20 minutes or so of “No Country for Old Men” ruined the movie for me and because of that I think “No Country for Old Men” was one of the worst movies ever and I would rather see an Adam Sandler movie than “No Country”.

Believe it or not, I think Max Allan Collins is a great writer with an amazing flowing writing style and use of words which served the first 350 pages of “No One Can Here You” excellently. As a result, I’m angry about what I consider a totally phoned in Amateur idiotically written last 37 pages which I consider a disgrace for an author of Max Collins stature. A dumb high school kid could have written those 37 pages better. Max Collins ought to be ashamed. Those 37 pages were amateur writing at its worst.

Why I Think “No One Will Hear You” Sucked WARNING: SPOILERS

1. The Serial Killer is a Computer and All Around Evil Genius yet his Computer ISP is traced through emails he sent his victims beforehand. Is Max Collins a total Computer dufus? This is so idiotic Collins ought to be ashamed. Even computer illiterates know about ISP’s and how easily they can be traced back to the sender.

2. The Picture of the Serial Killer showing on his different persona website, wearing a wig of different hair color with his prominent high cheekbones is not immediately recognized as the boyfriend of Carmen by the Crime Seen TV Team’s Computer Expert who had met him earlier with Carmen at a lunch. This is like not recognizing Clark Kent as Superman.

3. The Serial Killer leaves his trademark Black Pearl Roses in visible sight and his bed is the same one the serial killer murdered one of the victims in which is obvious to his girlfriend Carmen when she enters his bedroom for the first time. And this guy is suppose to be a Genius? As an aside, Collins basically telegraphs that Carmen’s boyfriend is the Serial Killer before it is officially revealed. What Collins should have done is have Carmen’s boyfriend not be the serial killer and have the whole part which telegraphed him as “Don Juan” be in fact a Red Herring and have someone else be the Serial Killer. Also given that the Serial Killer knew Carmen’s personal email account and sent something via that email to the Team, they couldn’t have thought that maybe the Killer was someone who knew Carmen? Duh.

Max Allan Collins you wasted my time but you still rock! Please check out our large Online Discount Gift Store click here and our other Online Discount Stores below which helps support this politically incorrect blog. Thank you.

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