Amanda Knox Prison Diary: 2019 Prison Diary A Fictional Prediction
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The following is a fictional prediction of what Amanda Knox Prison Diary in the Year 2019 might look like after her conviction and 10th year in an Italian Prison:
“July 9, 2019 Diary Entry”
Prison in Italy
Dear Diary,
Today is my Birthday and as usual I have to bake a birthday cake for my visiting family. Is this any way for Italy to treat a star? My sisters are wearing their skimpy shorts again and are posing by my old House which enraged Italians 10 years ago and which mom blamed for my conviction. The press are paying them a lot of money for these pictures and they’re using some of the money to get me the latest remasters of the Beatles remasters which were last done in 2009. I can’t wait to hear the latest remastered version of “Hey Jude”. I blame the Italian Press for having my sisters originally pose in their shorts in 2009 by the House where Meredith suffered an icky murder. I have better legs then my sisters. Just because my sisters agreed to pose by that House doesn’t make them responsible for posing. I think Patrick Lumumba my old boss made them do it. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
CBS is doing a special story about my innocence this week in the United States which I’m sure will get me out of this Italian Prison immediately. Yeah, right! Mom blames all the CBS stories on enraging the Italians which resulted in my conviction. CBS new theory is that the person who assassinated JFK was behind Meredith Kercher’s murder not me.
Actually, Prison here isn’t such a bad deal after they passed a law giving prisoners unlimited conjugal visits and allowed us to smoke grass. I’ve had over 200 lovers in the last month alone and I bong almost every day. Cable TV here is great and we have a terrific home theater system. The other day, I watched for the 10th time the Amanda Knox Story on DVD starring Jenna Fisher Click Here and I never get tired of it.
Next to Charles Manson, I receive the largest amount of mail of any prisoner in the world. Each week I get thousands of marriage proposals, some of them from actual millionaires. Andy Dick, writes me almost every day!
I’m still doing my cartwheels and have learned to speak my 100th different foreign language since I’ve been here. Oh, I have to go now because my Award Winning MTV Reality Show, “Perugia Hills” is about to start filming its 5th season. I make more money then anyone from my Graduating Class from the University of Washington (Bloggers note: Amanda Knox received her College Degree from the University of Washington after the school decided to award her credits for “Life Experience”). I have a standing invitation to do “Dancing with the Stars” and will do “The Bachelorette” this year if ABC gets permission to film from Prison.
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